Top Ten reasons why I ROCK.

During the course of my long, hectic day/week/month I often feel beat down. I feel like I’m just not good ENOUGH. Like if I just tried a LITTLE bit harder things would go better. Jordan would be better behaved. Id make more money. Etc etc.

And its thinking like THIS that really gets me down. I spent 4 years trying to be GOOD ENOUGH. Wondering why I wasn’t, and what I could do better.

And you know what? I’m done with it. Fuck it. I am sick of trying to be GOOD ENOUGH.

Because I already AM good enough. And I don’t need anyone to tell me! Cuz I KNOW it. So fuck all y’all. Not really tho. Only fuck the ones who are dicks.

And now… my top ten reasons why I ROCK.

1.       I am a GREAT cook.

It’s true. I am. No, I don’t always make everything from scratch. And No, I don’t always spend an hour on dinner every night. But we always have food, that’s pretty damn good. And when I do make that little extra effort… it’s gunna be GOOD. My spaghetti is off the chain. My beer/BBQ chicken is melt in your mouth delicious. I can crock some pot like no body’s business. And my stuffed shells? WOOOOOH WHEEEEEEE you better WATCH OUT. Cuz they are AMAZE BALLS. Ask anyone. And my apple crisp? Better than your moms.

 

 

 

2.        I am AWESOME at my job

I’m not a lawyer. Or a doctor. Or a teacher (thank god! You do NOT want me teaching your kids… oy) I’m a property manager. I take care of the entire process of renting out people’s houses. From marketing them, to repairs, to showings, to evictions… I do it all. Well, not the repairs. Marcus does that. I’d end up breaking shit if I tried to fix it. But I manage the repairs. Aka I tell Marcus to fix stuff. And im AWESOME at telling him what to do. Haha.

3.       I can read faster than you.

And have probably read more. Unless this is Pete’s mom or sister reading this. Or someone who is really old. Or maybe MS Adams… yeah. Unless you are one of those four things, I’ve got you beat. I can read over 500 words a minute. And process everything I read. I can knock out a book in 2-4 hours. If it’s a trashy romance that requires no thought, like an hour. And I LOVE TO READ. So it’s a win win. I read Shakespeare in 4^th grade… just cuz. Don’t even try to argue this one.

4.       I have a pretty awesome rack.

I HAVE AMAZING BOOBS. That’s right folks. AMAZING. My ass… eh… not so much… but the boobs? Oh yeah. They are perky and gorgeous and… you get the picture. I won’t go into this one too much… but they rock. Also, the legs are pretty ok as well.

5.       I have a pretty kick ass boyfriend

That means I’ve got to be doing something right in this department as well, right? He’s funny, smart, hella cute… etc. I don’t think I’d have caught such a great guy if I wasn’t pretty swell myself!

6.       I can sing. Really well.

And not just Katy Perry, Journey and Adele (although, my version of ‘One and Only’ is pretty freaking sweet…) I can sing OPERA. REALLY REALLY WELL. Ask anyone who’s been in the house while I’m in the shower! Or anyone who was ever in a musical with me. I got this. No, I’m not the BEST. Yes, I could probably be better. But regardless, I can bust out some Aladdin like nobody’s business. Ive been in Choir, Show Choir, a crap ton of musicals, solo and ensemble… etc etc etc… And evita? OHHHH you better watch out! Madonna ain’t got nothing’ on me! *brushes shoulders off*

 

 

7.       I’m pretty damn funny

What’s yellow, you push a button and it turns red? A little chicken in a blender. BAHAHAHAHHA. Ok, perhaps a bad example, but in general, I make people giggle. ESPECIALLY when I’m a bit… inebriated… case in point… this blog. I think its pretty funny. If you disagree, obviously you are dumb. Haha jk. Kinda. I like to think I’m the ‘funny’ friend. If this were FRIENDS id probably be phoebe. I’m not cute enough to be Rachael, not OCD enough to be Monica… yep. I’m Phoebe. With the great tits.

8.       Im creative/crafty

I can make a borrower house out of sticks and grass in the yard better than frank Lloyd wright. I can make a cork board out of wine corks like a class A alcoholic. I can paint watermelons, black cats, shamrocks, hearts and snowflakes on fingernails. Oh, and camo now too haha. I can carve a kick ass pumpkin, decorate a killer cupcake, dye a bad ass egg, wrap presents like Martha fucking Stewart, centerpiece the hell out of a table, decorate a mantle, arrange flowers like a BOSS and all that other crafty crap. I am the PINTEREST QUEEN. Hear me roar!

9.       Not only do I sing, I act as well!

Not lately, and not in anything on Broadway, or like that (except for the INCREDIBLY well written, witty and funny “Prelude to a legend” and “Comedy of Macbeth”) but I’ve also been in: Cinderella, Sleep Hollow, Robin Hood, The Music Man, The Sound of Music, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream coat, TIOBE, Into the Woods (ballet.. but still…), and various other plays during my school career. And of course, Tuesday Night Surprise. I was even almost in a commercial for Maybelline! Bet cha didn’t know that. BAM.

10.   I got into Duke.

Obviously I didn’t go. I’m not even sure how many people were aware of this fact until JUST NOW. SURPRISE MOM! I applied, and got in. but decided not to go because of… financial issues. Also, other issues. Also, I wanted to party at app with my friends.  I had my SAT scores sent to Harvard, but the bastards never called me back. Hahahaha.

 

So, there you have it. The top ten things im good at/things that are awesome about me/ my brag-a thon… whatever you want to call it.

 

I’m feelin’ pretty damn cocky right now.

 

WATCH OUT WORLD!