Ex's and Oh No's...

Ok so I know it’s been a while, but I am having ISSUES. ... I am having a really hard time with my husband's Ex. And I’m sick of not having a voice and not being able to speak up. If I had my way I would call her out and we would throw down at this point because I am SO OVER HER SHIT. I’m done being quiet and putting up with her crap and her having NO consequences for being a waste of space!

Here is a little backstory.... we live in NC. The ex lived in MS. Ever since josh and I got together she has had an issue with me. She never met or talked to me, she just decided she didnt like me. I seemed “off” to her and she just had a “bad feeling”… about ME? I mean im a pretty upstanding citizen. I don’t even have any damn speeding tickets! I’m a good mom, I work hard, I pay my bills… meanwhile SHE was unemployed, being evicted, 99% sure on DRUGS and raising her daughter in the worst way possible. She was jealous that Josh had moved on (and told him as much). She wouldn’t let my husband see or talk to her when I was around. She talked shit about me to everyone – including M-, stalked my social accounts, the whole shebang.

Fast forward. We have Harper in March, Got married in april.

Then one night in May we get a phone call from her BROTHERS FIANCE – The Ex has taken a bunch of pills and she’s in the psych ward in Jackson! She refused to tell josh, and lied to everyone and said she had. When we finally find M (josh’s daughter), she is staying with the LANDLORD. Not one of the MULTIPLE family members who live in the same town as her, oh no, the LANDLORD.

So we drop everything and drive to MS to get M. We get her from a teacher (?) who acts like we are criminals. We go to get her stuff and there is no furniture or food in the house.

M has been with us since and things have been ... rough. We had to get her new clothes and school supplies because she didn’t have any… She’s behind socially and some in the classroom. She has imaginary friends and was getting bullied in class for her odd behaviors. She didn’t know how to interact with other people! She didnt know how to follow rules or behave….  WHY? I’ll tell you why. Because The Ex HOMESCHOOLED her, but all her classes were online and THE EX DIDN’T HAVE INTERNET (so HOW was she learning? Hmm… SHE WASN’T). And the ex had her on so many meds she was zonked out all the time! So M had no idea how to behave. She couldnt brush her hair, button her pants, shower correctly… she had no concept of chores or any responsibility whatsoever. Socially she’s at about a 6 year old level. And because this is my blog – the kid was just WEIRD. She did this annoying laugh all for attention, got in people’s faces, didn’t give them any space, told on all the kids in class, avoided any type of physical activity like the plague, was OBSESSED with food and the TV…. It was BAD.

And did I mention the drugs? She was on TWO different ADHD drugs AND adult doses of melatonin. Drugs she has now been taken OFF of, and after being evaluated by two doctors and her counselor (who she has been seeing for months) SHE DOESN’T HAVE ADHD. SHE DOESN’T NEED TO BE MEDICATED. Her mom was just doing it so she didn’t have to deal with her BECAUSE SHES LAZY AND HORRIBLE.

We got her into counseling and have all been working to handle all the new changes. Because I get that this is totally different for her. For EVERYONE!

Well we were doing really well with stuff. I mean, M was still totally lazy but she was doing better. She was doing chores, better in school, she was learning how to behave and had a routine.

THEN THEN THEN THE EX DECIDES SHE NEEDS TO FUCKING MOVE HERE.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

OK I get wanting to be closer to your kid – I’m not a complete bitch – but COME ON!

So we tell her she needs to find a place, and find a job before she moves. Of course she doesn’t. She gets here and is renting a ROOM. And has no job. So I suck it up and find her a job with a friend. Despite my better judgement. I was trying to be NICE. I figured it would be better for everyone if she was doing well.

Yeah news flash – that was a fucking mistake. She has since spent the last 3 months doing nothing but make excuses. She can’t take M, she has to work. She can’t buy M clothes, she’s always broke. She cant feed M, she’s broke. For the most part I make sure M has what she needs. I make sure she has shoes and clothes that fit. I make sure she has shampoo and snacks because her mom will NOT step up.

So shes here, but she isn’t seeing M at all. Then she would text and want to get M at the last minute. Always randomly when it was convenient for her, fuck everyone else.

So we told her she had to have a visitation schedule. Sorry but I have a life and need to be able to plan around her shit. She has a fit. She has to work, she can’t take M every other weekend blab la bla. But wasn’t M the entire reason she moved up here??

BUT she seems to have forgotten that I GOT HER A JOB WITH MY FRIEND so I KNOW that she has VOLUNTEERED to work all those shifts when she refuses to see her daughter. I know she’s LYING about being at work and was at the bar (and again, idc what the fuck she does, but her whole reason for moving here was to SEE HER KID MORE and she ISNT)…

This whole time she keeps saying she’s looking for a place of her own so she can take M more, but SHE STILL HAS NO MONEY SAVED. She works ALL THE TIME according to her, and has few bills, and doesn’t do SHIT for her kid sooooo… I’m confused and think this is a bunch of bull SHIT.

 Now add to the mix her shady ass “friend” who has been around every time M is there for the last few weeks. Her shady ass friend we haven’t met, who – frankly – looks like a pedo. I have no idea if he is or not but I do know two things. A. we asked her not to have M around him until we met him and she’s lying which seems shady and B. I know how The Ex is and the people she DOES associate herself with and that’s enough for me to know he’s probably SHADY AS FUCK. She wouldn’t let me around M for a YEAR because of a feeling – but after two weeks this dude has all but moved in? uhm no.

There is never any consistency when she does take her. She feeds her shit (despite being asked repeatedly not to), she won’t make her do anything that resembles a chore or responsibility (despite promising us and the therapist she would to help lend some consistency to Ms life) and most of the time they just lay around and eat shit. PUT IN SOME EFFORT YOU WASTE OF SPACE!! Take her to the PARK! Paint her nails! Make cookies! DO SOMETHING aside from taking her to SHADY MF’ers house and not paying attention to her or lying in bed all day! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK??!

The bitch is still getting food stamps and benefits from MS so she has NO excuse to feed her. She doesn’t have to pay child support… nada.

And of course now that mom is back in the picture M has an attitude with me. It’s turned into "you're not my mom" with me and our relationship has taken a huge hit. And I mean how could it not, The Ex spent a year and a half talking shit about me to M! M knows how she feels about me and that’s her MOM so if she DOES like and listen to me, then shes betraying her mom! The Ex says she isn’t talking shit, but she says a lot of things and I don’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

Saturday was Ms bday. And oh the drama. The Ex told us a couple weeks ago she was doing a party for M. At her work (which isn’t a kids party location tbh). She already has all the details. Ok cool. Whatever. We had a party planned but if The Ex is gunna do it I’m not gunna fight with her – let her. IM TRYING TO BE NICE!  Then she gets pissed cuz we don’t want to go. To her party that she is throwing M. After all that shit ^^ I don’t want to even see the bitch! She pulls the whole ‘can’t we at least come together for Ms birthday’ guilt trip. BITCH last year you wouldn’t even let josh TALK to M on her b.day cuz I was around!! So don’t even pull that shit!

Like two weeks before the party a friend of mine (who’s kid M gave an invitation) shows me the invite and the dates are wrong. I tell her the right date etc.

Fast forward to josh letting The Ex know the invites had the wrong date and “Well thanks a lot josh and I bet you didn’t even bother to correct them when you knew the dates were wrong you knew I was sending them home with M ” HOLD UP one sec… I must have missed where it was our job to check HER invites before they went out?

So no one rsvp’s and The Ex cancels the party. And now we aren’t throwing her one so… M has no party.

She went with her mom Friday and they went to Wendy's (with shady mo fo). She had cake and got two presents. That was it.  We got her sat and opened presents took her to get her ears pierced, to the parade, made bath bombs, went out to eat, then came home and had cake. Sunday she went back to her moms for the day and "laid around and ate a lot of junk all day" her mom had promised her they would do "mani panis" and she didn’t even paint her nails at home! Then she tells josh ‘well I called and the place only had an apt for sat at 1’ – THERE ARE LIKE SIXTY SEVEN MOTHER FING NAIL PLACES IN FAYETTEVILLE YOU SOW!

And the poor kid was so heartbroken! And I'm not saying she has to spend a lot of money, but make some f-ing effort! Paint her nails at home! DO SOMETHING except lay around all day!

So last night at 12 guess who throws up all over... yep, M. And guess who has to take off work with a sick little girl (IT WASN’T HER MOM!!) Because "she’s broke and has to work".... woooosaaaaaa.....

So you might suggest not letting M spend time with The Ex – well then her behavior drops to the point where I don’t want to be around her. She won’t listen, she talks back, she takes 2 hours to sweep the kitchen and and and… And since I am the one who is with her the most, It affects me the most. Plus she wouldn’t dare act that way around josh...

I pick her up every day, help her with homework, supervise chores etc all while working, taking care of the baby, helping J, making dinner and doing all my shit around the house until josh gets home between 730 – 8. And to be honest again, I resent that. I have got a whole lot of shit going on and BOTH her parents now live here sooooo WHY am I the one pulling all the weight? It is great when she can go to her mom’s so I can get a BREAK. But on the other side of that, I don’t think going to her mom’s is the answer.

You know, it’s not really M that is the issue anymore. Maybe at first, and maybe still on occasion but not more than any other kid… it’s the EX. I hate HER! I hate how she has fucked M up, I hate that because of her M is behind in LIFE and gets made fun of for it, I hate how she poisoned M against me, I hate that she didn’t even give me a damn chance, I hate the games, I hate that I tried to be nice to her and its blown up in my face, I hate the lies, I hate the trash and the drama and frankly I hate seeing or hearing her at this point. And I hate it the most that she is a BAD MOM. I gave her a chance. I gave her SEVERAL. But she has shown repeatedly and I am DONE.