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I arranged it on the phone with a lovely sounding lady who said it was for a property management company, and got it scheduled for over my lunch break.
I got to the office a comfortable 15 minutes early and realized… wait… where was this place? I didn't see ANYTHING that looked like a PM company… I glanced down at my paper, sure that I had made a mistake. … Nope. This was the place. But wait… it looked like an…. Employment agency.
Now don’t get me wrong, employment agencies can be great. They can help you find a job and i'm sure they are wonderful. But that was NOT what I was looking for. AND the woman on the phone had LIED to me!
“Alright,” I think “I may as well give it a shot, i'm already dressed up and here!”
So I go in.
To an empty reception area that is about 8x8 with a sign TAPED to the counter
“Please ring bell for service and someone will be with you shortly.”
And then stand there.
And stand there
And stand there…
Five minutes later a woman walks out with a mouth full of food and asks me “YES?!” like I have just said something completely rude and am totally inconveniencing her.
Now at this point I am still tyring to be professional so I hide my chagrin and reply “Hello. My name is Casey Noe. I am here for an interview with Ms. Beaverhausen.” (obviously not her real name…)
“uh huh…. Ok well Ill let her know you are here. Take a seat.”
TAKE A SEAT? How about WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A SEAT or even PLEASE HAVE A SEAT? Im not in 5th grade lady!
So I sit.
And I sit
And I sit.
I SIT FOR 20 FUCKING MINUTES IN THIS OFFICE.
I can HEAR them past the paper thin closed door discussing the other applicants, how much they dislike their job and the fact that they are going to keep me waiting.
I check my phone. It’s now 20 minutes past when my interview was supposed to start. I have 40 minutes left on my lunch. I decide I will give her another 5 minutes before I leave.
STEP ONE
I start playing on my phone. NOW I KNOW you aren't supposed to be on your phone when you are waiting for an interview. I KNOW THIS. I've interviewed enough people and if I saw that… oh HELLLLLLL NO.
But at this point… I really don’t care anymore.
Im irritated im at an employment agency.
Im irritated the woman was rude to me.
Im irritated they are keeping me waiting and I can HEAR THEM.
Im also irritated because there is a burger king across the street I could be stuffing my face at and im NOT.
Im Facebook stalking people when I remember to check the time. Its been six minutes. I stand up to leave. I don’t want this job ANYWAY! I am beyond pissed… and the door opens and a 12 year old girl walks out with a clipboard.
OK OK OK, she wasn't 12 but she sure as shit looked like it!
“Hi there!” she says in a high pitched valley girl voice that immediately makes me want to punch her square in her face... “You must be Casey! Sorry to keep you waiting!”
STEP TWO
I glare at her. “Yep. That’s me.”
She looks a bit taken aback. Probably because she’s TWELVE, I’m three feet taller than her, I’m dressed better than she is and I am now PISSED OFF.
“Sorry to keep you waiting!” she gushes at me “Won’t you come back to my office and we can get started?” I follow her to her office, shooting daggers into her back the entire way.
“Would you like a drink?” she asks me, all bubbly like I’m NOT giving her a death glare.
STEP THREE
“I’d love a glass of Pinot if you have one.” I tell her.
She looks at me blankly. I’m not even sure if she knows that I just asked her for alcohol…
“I don’t think we have any ha ha, but we have some water…” she looks confused
“I’m fine.” I bite back.
“Ok well why don’t we get started?”
She proceeds to ask me the most POINTLESS STUPID questions. Like… directly from googling “Interview questions to ask for a property manager position.” I know this because I googled that same thing. FIVE YEARS AGO.
STEP FOUR
I answer all her questions in monosyllable responses.
Do I have experience in commercial property management? Yep.
Do I have experience supervising groups of 4 or more? Yep
Can I tell her about a time I had to provide excellent customer service? Yep
She asks me about a typical day. About my ‘management style’ and as she goes on it becomes more and more obvious she has NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT A PROPERTY MANAGER EVEN DOES.
STEP FIVE
I get out my nail file and start working on my nails.
She tells me that mainly what the company is looking for is someone with a positive attitude. A Real people person.
STEP SIX
I ignore her.
She asks me if I have any questions
“What is the name of the company?” I inquire.
‘I’m sorry” she replies “I cant tell you that.”
“What is the salary?” I ask
“I really cant give you that information” she tells me.
I glare at her again.
STEP SEVEN
“Do you know ANYTHING?” I ask her, as condescending as I can.
STEP EIGHT
I take out my phone and send a text
She asks me why I want the job
STEP NINE
“To be blatantly honest with you… I don’t.”
She looks confused. “Then why are you here?”
STEP TEN
“Because you LIED to me on the phone and I thought this was a legitimate property management job”
She stammers… “I lied to you? ”
“Yes young lady, you sure did. And I don’t appreciate the waste of my time.”
I get up. I walk out.
Needless to say… I did NOT get a job offer…
Wow!!! Sounds like she may have been thrown into the lion's den along with you!!!!
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