Back to school...

So. Its that time of year again…

Time to spend a STUPID amount of money on pencils, notebooks and clothes.

This year, jordans school supply list calls for SIXTEEN glue sticks. Im not even lying. SIXTEEN. Are they going to be feeding it to her for snack time? For serious… cuz that’s the only reason I can think of for her to need SIXTEEN glue sticks.

I get that in theory if you ask for 16 from everyone that the kids that’s parents don’t buy ANY will have osme.

Well, that’s not my fucking problem, now is it? I feel bad for them… I really do. But I don’t have money, or glue, coming out my ass! This also applies to the BAG of tennis balls, 4 boxes of Kleenex, gallon of hand sanitizer and 4 BOXES of ziplock bags they want me to buy her.

Not happening.

She currently has 8 gluesticks, and I think THAT’S excessive. And before I send more, im going to need proof that she has used all eight gluesticks, and I will send her more.

Also, I don’t WANT to send the hand sanitizer. I have a serious problem with this new hand sanitizer fad that’s storming the country. WE NEED SOME GERMS. It makes us tough. And I don’t want Jordan pumping that shit onto her hands every 12 seconds, like I KNOW they do! Have her wash her hands a couple times a day and call it good. Shit people.

 

Anyway. We went school shopping yesterday. I was pretty darn excited about it, because I ALWAYS enjoyed it as a kid. And even though we never had a crap ton of money, my mom always made it special. We could pick out a few special items, and then the basics. I.e. new jeans, socks blab la. ONE pair of new shoes… I’m sure you’re familiar.

So. We hit up the mall, got there before it was even open waiting for Justice to open. Jordan wanted to go, apparently some girls at the Y had been telling her she needed to shop there for a water bottle.

We walk in and there is a stroller cart car thing, free for the taking. Now, Jordan ALWAYS wants to get one, but I ALWAYS tell her no because they are a PAIN IN MY ASS. And like … $8. Shes got two perfectly fine legs, why do we need one? Well, this one was free. Win win, right? Sooo wrong.

We stopped at cinnabon first, and Jordan HAS to have an Oreo chiller thing. I tell her no, she wont drink the entire thing and she BEGS me to get it. So I relent, this is supposed to be a splurge day after all, and get her the smallest size.

They open, we head straight for the water bottles. The SEVENTEEN FUCKING DOLLAR WATER BOTTLES. Do they MAKE their own water? Cuz that’s the ONLY way I’m paying that for a water bottle for a 6 year old. Who loses one a week…

Well, Jordan was… less than happy with this… but eventually got over it. We went to look at clothes, and Jordan picked out a really cute skirt. For $36. I told her no. then she found an adorable pair of thongs. At a children’s store. In a size 6T. At this point I was DONE and we promptly left.

We made a few more stops, got some jeans and then…

Then….

THEN. When we are in BELK… ie NOT a childrens store. NOT a place she can have a fit and act like a spoiled brat and it will be PERFECTLY NORMAL and she decides her drink is too COLD. Her drink that she BEGGED me to get her. (remember that??^^) She REFUSES to carry it anymore. Im trying to push the stupid as hell stroller cart car thing around and looking like a straight FOOL and pete is ready to dig a hole and crawl in, he is so embarrassed. Which just made me feel WORSE… So we have to pile in the elevator, after I manage to maneuver this POS through the shoe isles, so I can ditch the damn cart, drinks and take my now whining daughter to the bathroom… woooo saaaaa… its time to leave the mall.

We went to Target. Which is much safer, also the only reason I was wearing real pants. You gotta dress up for target!

Pretty uneventful shopping trip at target. I let Jordan pick out some clothes, I picked out some clothes, pete looked at electronics.

We went to lunch. Then I decided I needed to go to Barnes and Noble. I LOVE barnes and noble. It is my favorite store IN THE WORLD. I love the smell. I love the people. I love the toilets. (don’t judge me, they are exceptionally comfortable) but most of all… I love the BOOKS!

 

^^Me.

 

So. Jordan goes off to play in the kids section and I start to wander. Now, Jordan KNOWS that she can go look at the books in the childrens section, and I will check on her periodically. No problems usually.

Im browsing and I hear it…

MOM

MOM!!!!

MOM!!!! WHERE ARE YOU???

I hide, thinking “please don’t let that be my child…”

It was. And she found me. She found a frozen book, wanted me to buy it. No big, no worries I got this. Lets splurge! I want her to love books as much as I do….

But I don’t want to spend money on a crap book.

We go over to pick out a more suitable book, and she has a FUCKING MELTDOWN. Like crying and yelling at me in the middle of the store. THE BOOKSTORE.

YOU DO NOT DO THAT.

MY CHILD DOES NOT DO THIS!

So we leave. And im PISSED. She was naughty at the mall, and at barnes and noble! Im trying to do something nice for her, give her a special day etc and she was just a little DICK!

I just don’t get it.

We do nothing and shes naughty and complains and I feel bad for not doing anything with her

We do stuff and shes naughty and ungrateful and still complains…

 

Well, doing nothing is cheaper…