What mornings with a child look like

My mornings getting ready with Jordan:

Wake up sweetie! its morning! 

How did you sleep? 

sure, tell me about your dream.

Ok, now its time to get out of bed kiddo.

Seriously J. Get up. 

I love you too.

Thats enough stretching. Up. 

You are going to be late for school! If I have to take you I am going to be irritated...

Get out of bed! 

Well then you should have gone to bed when I told you, sorry 'bout cha! 

Han Solo will not be mad if you get up. 

JORDAN! GET YOUR ASS UP!

Then you should have gotten up, and I wouldn't have had to yell!

No you can not wear your Easter dress today. you have PE. 

I don't care if the other girls wont think you're fancy.

put on shorts and a tee shirt!

I SAID SHORTS AND A TEE SHIRT!

Why are you wearing your dress shoes?

STOP CHANGING YOUR SHIRT! The one you had on was FINE.

Jordan, we only have 30 minutes until the bus comes! 

get your shoes on and go brush your teeth and hair!

Why do you have on dress shoes? Get on your sandals or tennis shoes!

Stop trying to ride the dog! he doesn't like it!

Why is the dog wearing your shirt? 

put it in the dirty laundry and find a clean shirt now.

Go brush your teeth!

are your teeth brushed yet? 

Where are your shoes?

GET YOUR SHOES ON WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!

have you brushed your teeth? what about your hair?

well, go brush your hair.

then you should have brushed it last night like I told you to!

stop crying, its just BRUSHING YOUR HAIR. everyone has to do it!

Ok, fine, you're right. Pete doesn't have to brush his hair. now SCOOT!

is your hair brushed?

are your teeth brushed?

Where are your shoes? Come here and i will put them ON you myself.

well then, you should have picked them out like I told you to!

HOW could you have brushed your teeth when your toothbrush is in my room? 

GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH.

Now downstairs! 

No I'm not packing your lunch! we have five minutes until we have to go!

Did you feed the chicks? 

Well go feed the chicks!

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT IT ON THE BACK PORCH JORDAN!

WHY ARENT YOU WEARING ANY SHOES??

NO YOU CANT WEAR YOUR DRESS BOOTS! GET YOUR SANDALS ON RIGHT NOW!

Why did you put on socks with sandals? You look ridiculous. take those off. 

Where is your backpack?

Check the dining room.

What do you mean you don't know? It goes in the dining room or by the door when you finish your homework! Go look for it! 

Is it in your room?

I found it. In the dining room. I thought you said you looked there?

Well, I told you to look there! 

Put on your jacket.

You left it at school again? they have more jackets there than we do here!

Run upstairs and grab one. and PUT YOUR SHOES ON! 

Where is your other shoe? 

Get it on. Now. 

Ok. outside. 

NO I DIDN'T MAKE YOUR LUNCH! you can eat what they have at school!!!!!! 

Without Jordan: 

Now... where is my coffee?