And this is why Men are the WORST.

Sometimes I honestly wonder how it is that men are still a thing.

They are stubborn.

NO MATTER WHAT they are ALWAYS RIGHT. Even if you are right. NOPE. You are NOT right. They are. MONTHS later they may admit that they may have been wrong, but DO NOT point it out or it will magically go away and once again – They were not wrong!

They are frustrating.

THE SWEET SNACKS GO IN ONE CUBPOARD AND THE SALTY SNACKS GO IN THE OTHER. It’s been that way for FOREVER. SWEET JESUS MAN!

I SWEAR IF YOU PUT THAT TRASH CAN IN MY WAY ONE MORE TIME IM NOT COMING BACK!

WHY CANT YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR LAUNDRY?!

They are oblivious.

IM SORRY you stayed up until 11 and got GOD AWFUL drunk. Guess what? I’ve been lying in bed for the last hour scantily clad waiting for your ass! And they wonder why we develop headaches? It isn’t only for when it’s convenient for YOU! Our needs matter too!

They smell bad.

HOW on EARTH can they work ALL DAY and then NOT SHOWER? It may not bother you, but guess what… I have to be around you and you smell LIKE BIGFOOTS DICK.

They say the WRONG things at GOD AWFUL times…

“I think you’re overreacting.”

“Why are you nagging me about this?”

“Aren’t you ready yet?’’

“Why do you need a $500 purse?”

They do NOT understand that our feelings matter.

No, maybe you didn't MEAN to offend us. Maybe you didn't intend to make us sad but guess what… you did. WE ARE FEMALE AND WE ARE EMOTIONAL. SO maybe you should MAN UP and APOLOGIZE. And not some BS apology either...

“I’m sorry you overreacted.” ß THIS IS NOT AN APOLOGY

“I’m sorry what I said hurt your feelings. I love you more than life itself and you are beautiful. Here have some wine.” ß THIS IS AN APOLOGY.  AND you aren't actually admitting any wrongdoing. It’s a WIN WIN.

here is a chart to reference for your convenience...

Honestly. Given the free does of bitch that come standard with a vagina, how have we (women) not killed them all off?

I think the amazons had it right… Bad ass warrior women. No men were allowed in their country, BUT; but once a year - in order to prevent their race from dying out- (says Wikipedia… I think they just got horny) they visited a neighboring tribe to get freak-ay. And yes, to repopulate. They also took men as slaves when they went to war. They had to do the cooking and cleaning and oh yeah, satisfy their masters on command. Any girl children from the union were kept and brought up by their moms to be TOTAL BAD ASS XENA-ESQUE MO-FO’S.  The male children who were the result of these visits were either killed, sent back to their fathers or exposed in the wilderness to fend for themselves. Sorry ‘Bout Cha…

 Bad motha' shut yo mouth!

Hells to the yizzeah!