And this is why I look like hell today...

So.

Last night was… rough.

To say the least.

J is going through this complete asshole phase where she CANT sleep alone in her own damn bed.

Which sadly coincides with MY phase of “Fuck no you are not sleeping with me.”

This has always been an issue with her.

Let me give some background here. Jordan had apnea when she was born. IE, stopped breathing in her sleep. She almost died. Then, as if that wasn’t fun enough, she started having SIEZURES. Needless to say, I was a very obsessive young mother. And her apnea alarm sounded like a FIRE TRUCK. So it was just easier to have her sleep with me.

Her waste of space father was never home, so that wasn’t an issue. When she was almost 4 we moved into a different house and I had just gotten her to sleep in her own bed when…. BAM. Peeping tom at our house. I was freaked out, she was freaked out… it was, once again, just easier for her to sleep with me.

We moved to NC, and essentially had to share a bedroom. I didn’t always want to sleep on the futon, so we shared a bed…

Fast forward to now… Im in a relationship with someone who has never lived with kids before. He is doing REALLY well, but the whole ‘Jordan snuggling in bed’’ thing is just a bit too much for him. He doesn’t get that this is a perfectly normal thing, and WAY understandable considering the past… (sorry boo, I love you but its true)

 

She has been struggling with this since we moved. Generally I can placate her by tucking her in and snuggling for a minute or two, but the last month or so have been HELL.

It starts at 750 when I tell her its time to get ready for bed. The waterworks start (and boy does this little girl know how to play me!)

“but will you tuck me in?”

“but will you snuggle with me?”

“but what if I get scared?”

“back when we lived in Wisconsin…”

“can I just sleep with you?”

 

It has been getting progressively worse.

My mom came to visit this weekend and I made Jordan sign a paper stating that:

“I will not have a fit about sleeping by myself, going to bed, not snuggling. Nor will I ask to sleep with mom after grandma comes”

BECAUSE I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE AN ISSUE.

 

Yep. Sure as shit, last night….

She bawled on her way to bed, but then fell asleep relatively quickly. I woke up at 12 to pee, went and checked on her and she was good.

 

MY FIRST MISTAKE

She comes into my room at 1215….

“Mommy?... I had a scary dream…”

Now at this point, im still patient and willing to go tuck her back into bed… I get her all snuggly, turn on a light for her, get her stuffed animal and think were good to go…

 

I get back to my room, fight with a sleeping bear for some space and have just gotten comfortable.

 

 

12:30

*knock knock knock* “Mommy? I had another bad dream….”

"J, you haven’t even had a chance to go back to sleep. Please go back in your room and go to sleep."

 

1:05

*knock…*

"GET BACK IN BED."

 

1:32

*knock knock knock*

"What do you want Jordan?''

''I cant sleep…''

''GET BACK IN YOUR BED RIGHT NOW AND DON’T GET OUT''

 

2:07

(SCREAMING FROM ACROSS THE HOUSE) ''MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY! IM SCARED! ITS ME, JORDAN! MOMMY, CAN YOU HEAR ME? MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!''

I get out of bed, and MARCH my grouchy sleepy ass down the hall to deal with my child. All the lights are on. I turn them off, get her back in bed and threaten her

“If you don’t go to sleep im going to spank you. Don’t get up. Don’t come in my room. Don’t scream at me from across the house. GO TO BED.”

 

I get back to my room and pete is in the MIDDLE of the bed and WILL NOT move over. Now waking pete is like waking the dead. Maybe harder. I yell. I shove. I pushed. Nada.

I eventually was able to get him over so I had about a foot of space when….

 

*knock knock*

''WHAT.''

''Im scared… I heard a noise…''

''GET BACK IN BED''

 

I lay down.

WHAM. ELBOW TO THE HEAD

Me: “Ouch!”

Pete” hmmmzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

 

*Knock Knock*....

 

It went on like this for HOURS.

Jordan got TWO spankings.

I slept on 6 inches of space and I was placed in a chokehold while aforementioned sleeping bear wanted to ‘cuddle’….

It went a little like this....

 

Per one of his friends who I am NOT quoting due to legal issues, I should just “wake him up and have him move”….. yeah right.

 

 

Tonight im sleeping in my car.